Self-Care Rant

I am certainly not the guru of all things self-care. Sure, I teach about it and tell my clients to make sure they are incorporating it into their lives. I share with my clients the importance of it. However, I'm not always good at practicing what I preach. With everything that has been going on this year, I felt it necessary to create a self-care plan. I didn't realize I was holding my breath, so to speak, over the past eight months or so. I was supposed to take a cruise in June, and I was super excited about that, but when we had to cancel it, I was so disappointed. That was my one planned self-care event for the year. Don’t judge me!


If you're anything like me, you're probably always waiting for the right time to get something done. For me, I was trying to find the right time to take some time off. Every time I thought of something, it just didn't feel right. I thought I should be doing this or that. But finally, after hearing everyone else say, girl take a break; I decided that I needed to do it. But what was I going to do during my much-needed vacation? Aaaahh yes, all of those dreaded house chores that I tend to neglect. But that didn’t sound like the self-care that I really needed. I wanted to make this something that was very meaningful and true to what I was looking for: relaxation and restoration. I felt that I needed to have some time away from everything and everybody.


Well, with that, there comes the guilt of it all. See, I've never indeed taken time for myself and by myself. I've had time off and have been able to relax a little, but I've always had my kids or sometimes my husband or some other task that I felt that I needed to do. I had questions of whether or not, this was truly necessary. I wondered if my family would feel abandoned. It was stressful to think about my own needs. This definitely was not true to self-care.


I had to be intentional, this time around. Let me tell you how much of a journey that was. I had decided that I was going to spend a weekend away from everyone. I booked a nice hotel room for myself and spent the first weekend of my vacay there. I had to build up the courage to do so because I felt like I was leaving my family. That was mom and wife guilt at its finest. It took an act of congress to tell my husband that this was my plan. He was ok with it once I told him (he looked at me strangely, lol). My kids were like, "go have fun"! Still feeling apprehensive about it because I've never done something like that before, the weekend came, and I went.


Let me tell you how rejuvenating it was to have some quality time to myself. Now I feel like I can go on a bull horn to let everyone know the importance of self-care. Ladies and Gentlemen, if you haven't taken a little trip by yourself, you definitely should do it! Those two days taught me that being intentional is the key! Being intentionally allows you a different perspective, thus leaving all of the guilt-tripping behind.


Are you still hesitant about doing something good for you? Stop, let me give you some helpful tips to move forward:


1. It is not selfish to put yourself first. If you’ve ever been on a plane, they always tell you before taking off, that if something happens while on the plane, put your mask on first before helping anyone else. When I tell you that this is a golden rule (now that I’ve taken some time for myself), it really is helpful to understand the importance of preserving yourself.

2. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Listen, when you find yourself so exhausted, irritable, and angry about doing things for others, it’s time to do something for you. I’m sure you have a lot to give but don’t do it, raggedy. Replenish your cup!

3. If you’re married and/or have children, there is a tendency to have guilt about self-care. I promise you that, they want and need you to take care of yourself. See points 1 and 2. You will be a better spouse/partner and parent.

4. There will never be a right time, so just throw that thought out the window. Listen to your body and pay attention to your moods and emotions. If you feel, that you are always working off of your last nerve, then chances are you need to schedule that alone time or break for yourself.

5. Self-care doesn’t mean that you always have to take some major trip. They are amazing and I would recommend at least once a quarter. However, there are things that can help you on a daily basis when you need to just take some time to breathe. Figure out a plan and be intentional with it. Just stop neglecting yourself at the expense of everything else.


Take care of yourself! In this climate, you absolutely need to! Happy taking good care of yourself!

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